the blah-blah-ology behind this blah-blah-blog

After searching for good blogs about positive body image, I’ve decided I just need to start my own. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great blogs out there, but there seems to be a dearth of bloggers and commenters who, um, actually like their bodies. Where are all the happy, beautiful, imperfect people who know that they’re not HOT HOT HOT by “society’s standards” but love their bodies just the same??? I can’t find them, so I’m going to create them. That’s right—I’m going to create YOU. All the beautiful people.

How will I do this? I don’t know yet. This will definitely be an experiment in body positivation. (By the way, I like to make up words sometimes. Deal.) I guess what I will do is start by telling you a little about myself and then if there is anything that I say that resonates with you, by golly, bounce it off in the comments and we’ll discuss, ok?

So, I’m a girl, now in my twenties, and up until about a year ago I was just kind of ambivalent about my body. For the previous 12-15 years --since puberty, I guess-- I’d had pretty much the same body: I didn’t think it was that great of a body, but I didn’t dislike it and I’d always been confident, laid back, healthy, and happy, and I wasn’t usually bothered by my excess weight. I can’t pinpoint when I knew, but eventually I realized I was on a slow but steady path towards obesity, and I decided something needed to change.

I started by learning to eat healthier, which actually took a lot of time to get into because I had a lot of learning to do about what’s healthy and balanced and what’s not! I also started exercising. I decided that this would be the time that I actually “got fit.” I’d been telling myself ever since I was 13 that I was going to “get fit,” but I’d never really cared enough to define my goals and develop a plan, so I’d never gotten much further than a salad and a couple of jogs around the block.

This time I was serious. As I began eating better food and exercising more regularly, I decided on a “goal weight” and was determined that nothing but the healthiest, most realistic plan was going to be good enough for me. Everything I had ever truly accomplished for myself I had done though hard work, and this was to be no different.

And it wasn’t, really. I worked hard day after day, and eventually the changes I’d made began to have an impact. I lost a few pounds and my clothes got loose. Some of my tight old favorites fit again. I kept fine-tuning and balancing my diet and I kept exercising, and kept losing weight little by little. And then an amazing thing happened. Gradually, I started to pay more attention to my body and I–gradually, of course—came to the realization that I had a really rockin’ bod!

Things got complicated once I started getting closer and closer to my “goal weight.” I wasn’t sure if my original goal weight was really where I wanted to be. Perhaps that would be too thin for me, and I’d want to gain a few pounds back. Or maybe it wouldn’t be thin enough for my height and frame and I’d want to consider losing a few more pounds. I started looking online for how other people decided what their most ideal weight and shape was, and that’s when I found them: the positive body image sites and blogs. Great! I thought. Other people who love their bodies, too! The only thing I could figure from most of them, however, was that most women, no matter what they do, cannot achieve a body they love: there will always be something to dislike about themselves. Also, a lot of people who frequent these sites have a long history of dieting, losing, eating, gaining, and doing it all over again.

And then there were the “fat acceptance” blogs, which claim that women should be happy and love their bodies at whatever size they are, because diets just don’t work. Period. But many people on those sites don’t really love their bodies, either. And they’re always trying to convince us all to be happy with our bodies the way they are, as long as we’re healthy. And what does that mean, healthy? And what about all of my hard work to “get fit”? Was that worth nothing now, since I was supposed to be satisfied with myself just the way I was?

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just going to start my own blog to talk about this kind of stuff. That’s enough of my blah-blah-blah for today.