Having lived in New York City for the past 7 months, I have cultivated a new hobby. I love to go to stores and just try stuff on. Dresses, jeans, cute tops, shoes, bags even. Yes, I try on the bags. There’s no obligation to buy, right? So, that’s one of my favorite things to do with my down time, until I actually need to buy something and that thing is a bra. And boy, do I need bras, because I’m going through a terrible ill-fitting bra phase right now.
Needless to say, trying on bras in order to find one that does what it’s supposed to do (that is, supports my girls in a flattering way) has not been going well lately. I’ve been sized and I’ve been sister-sized, and so far all I’ve found is a long lost cousin of a size that technically fits but does nothing for me – most bras that are supposed to be my size “fit” but they seem to offer support precisely where I don’t need it and don’t offer coverage in the right places. They actually seem to want to push my breasts into places they have no business being! Though I’m actually kinda proud of being unique and having a difficult bust to fit, it is kinda irritating that I can’t find a proper bra. Or swimsuit. Or dress. Oh yeah, and my head is too small for adult hats and too big for kids’ hats….
I’ve heard that other women and men have similar problems with finding mass-produced clothing in the right sizes for all sorts of body parts – and not just the extremely tall, short, fat or thin people, either! I’m talking about typical, normal, seemingly average-sized-looking people. From sleeves being too short to waistlines that are too loose (when the hips are fitted correctly) to everything in between, above, and beyond. There’s all sorts of ill-fittedness going on out there, especially now that clothes are mostly mass-produced. But when you think about it, we are all so different, it should be amazing that such a small number of standard sizes can fit as many people as well as they do! How is your shape different in ways that make you un-fit-able? Are you proud of your uniqueness? What lengths do you go to (or trim to) to adjust your clothing so that it will fit you?
Monday, August 25, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
the body project: part ii
I finished the book a long time ago (um, about a day after my last post) and the verdict is: I love it! At the end Joan exhorts everyone everywhere to start thinking about what it is we're doing to all of the little girls by convincing them that their bodies are projects to be worked on, and to work on reversing the damage that's been done while maintaining the positive progress that's been made for women. A tall order, I know.
So I guess that's what I'm trying to do here: convince girls (and guys--hey they have issues, too!) the world over to love and take good care of their bodies because they are beautiful. All of them.
So I guess that's what I'm trying to do here: convince girls (and guys--hey they have issues, too!) the world over to love and take good care of their bodies because they are beautiful. All of them.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
the body project: part i
I’ve been reading The Body Project by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. I haven’t finished it yet, but it’s really fascinating to read about the different and changing attitudes about the adolescent girl’s body over the past century. Not just girls’ attitudes about their own bodies, but American society’s views of them as well. Joan also quotes a lot from different girls’ diaries throughout the 20th Century, and it’s making me want to dig up my old journals next time I go “back home” (many of my personal effects are currently in storage in my in-laws’ basement). However, I don’t think I’ll find much in the way of image and body observation in those old journals. I wrote much more extensively about my relationships with others, or my lack of relationships with some boys!
Usually around the summertimes of my teens I believe I thought briefly about getting “toned up” but apparently it was never important enough to me to have a good follow-through. A couple of times in my later high school years and college years, I would go through times of what I thought of as “vanity” where I set out to lose a few pounds, but I always ended up abandoning the project after a few days when it occurred to me that people should (and did!) like me just the way I was. Plus I just really liked sweet stuff. Mmm, cookies...
I held firmly to this belief for much of the time, especially once I began actively looking for my “knight in shining armor,” which started in my early twenties. Sometimes I’d think to myself: you would probably get more male attention if you lost a few pounds, but then I would just remind myself that I DID NOT want to marry a man who valued me because of a slim figure.
But I’ve gotten off-track! Back to The Body Project… I can definitely identify with some of society’s views on my adolescent body that I saw as standards to be held to. Case in point: modesty. When I was in junior high and high school, modesty was a big deal to me. Going against the grain and keeping my skin off-limits to the public was a priority. Keeping my shape a mystery was also important, except where absolutely necessary. Like at work. Where I worked AS A LIFEGUARD and SWIM INSTRUCTOR. I’m full of contradictions, I tell ya. But at least that modesty stuff explains why one will find very few photos of me, as a teen, where I’m not wearing big old baggy jeans and an oversize shirt. Okay, it was also the alt/grunge era… but seriously I never donned a strapless gown for a dance, mostly because I knew how uncomfortable I would be that everyone could see my whole décolletage. But it wasn’t really insecurity about my image; I just thought that it wasn’t modest to let guys see that much of me. I was to remain a shrouded mystery.
Let me tie up this post by saying that there will be more to come about this book, once I finish it, and then I have two more *gems* on my bookshelf to get into.
Usually around the summertimes of my teens I believe I thought briefly about getting “toned up” but apparently it was never important enough to me to have a good follow-through. A couple of times in my later high school years and college years, I would go through times of what I thought of as “vanity” where I set out to lose a few pounds, but I always ended up abandoning the project after a few days when it occurred to me that people should (and did!) like me just the way I was. Plus I just really liked sweet stuff. Mmm, cookies...
I held firmly to this belief for much of the time, especially once I began actively looking for my “knight in shining armor,” which started in my early twenties. Sometimes I’d think to myself: you would probably get more male attention if you lost a few pounds, but then I would just remind myself that I DID NOT want to marry a man who valued me because of a slim figure.
But I’ve gotten off-track! Back to The Body Project… I can definitely identify with some of society’s views on my adolescent body that I saw as standards to be held to. Case in point: modesty. When I was in junior high and high school, modesty was a big deal to me. Going against the grain and keeping my skin off-limits to the public was a priority. Keeping my shape a mystery was also important, except where absolutely necessary. Like at work. Where I worked AS A LIFEGUARD and SWIM INSTRUCTOR. I’m full of contradictions, I tell ya. But at least that modesty stuff explains why one will find very few photos of me, as a teen, where I’m not wearing big old baggy jeans and an oversize shirt. Okay, it was also the alt/grunge era… but seriously I never donned a strapless gown for a dance, mostly because I knew how uncomfortable I would be that everyone could see my whole décolletage. But it wasn’t really insecurity about my image; I just thought that it wasn’t modest to let guys see that much of me. I was to remain a shrouded mystery.
Let me tie up this post by saying that there will be more to come about this book, once I finish it, and then I have two more *gems* on my bookshelf to get into.
Monday, July 21, 2008
the blah-blah-ology behind this blah-blah-blog
After searching for good blogs about positive body image, I’ve decided I just need to start my own. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great blogs out there, but there seems to be a dearth of bloggers and commenters who, um, actually like their bodies. Where are all the happy, beautiful, imperfect people who know that they’re not HOT HOT HOT by “society’s standards” but love their bodies just the same??? I can’t find them, so I’m going to create them. That’s right—I’m going to create YOU. All the beautiful people.
How will I do this? I don’t know yet. This will definitely be an experiment in body positivation. (By the way, I like to make up words sometimes. Deal.) I guess what I will do is start by telling you a little about myself and then if there is anything that I say that resonates with you, by golly, bounce it off in the comments and we’ll discuss, ok?
So, I’m a girl, now in my twenties, and up until about a year ago I was just kind of ambivalent about my body. For the previous 12-15 years --since puberty, I guess-- I’d had pretty much the same body: I didn’t think it was that great of a body, but I didn’t dislike it and I’d always been confident, laid back, healthy, and happy, and I wasn’t usually bothered by my excess weight. I can’t pinpoint when I knew, but eventually I realized I was on a slow but steady path towards obesity, and I decided something needed to change.
I started by learning to eat healthier, which actually took a lot of time to get into because I had a lot of learning to do about what’s healthy and balanced and what’s not! I also started exercising. I decided that this would be the time that I actually “got fit.” I’d been telling myself ever since I was 13 that I was going to “get fit,” but I’d never really cared enough to define my goals and develop a plan, so I’d never gotten much further than a salad and a couple of jogs around the block.
This time I was serious. As I began eating better food and exercising more regularly, I decided on a “goal weight” and was determined that nothing but the healthiest, most realistic plan was going to be good enough for me. Everything I had ever truly accomplished for myself I had done though hard work, and this was to be no different.
And it wasn’t, really. I worked hard day after day, and eventually the changes I’d made began to have an impact. I lost a few pounds and my clothes got loose. Some of my tight old favorites fit again. I kept fine-tuning and balancing my diet and I kept exercising, and kept losing weight little by little. And then an amazing thing happened. Gradually, I started to pay more attention to my body and I–gradually, of course—came to the realization that I had a really rockin’ bod!
Things got complicated once I started getting closer and closer to my “goal weight.” I wasn’t sure if my original goal weight was really where I wanted to be. Perhaps that would be too thin for me, and I’d want to gain a few pounds back. Or maybe it wouldn’t be thin enough for my height and frame and I’d want to consider losing a few more pounds. I started looking online for how other people decided what their most ideal weight and shape was, and that’s when I found them: the positive body image sites and blogs. Great! I thought. Other people who love their bodies, too! The only thing I could figure from most of them, however, was that most women, no matter what they do, cannot achieve a body they love: there will always be something to dislike about themselves. Also, a lot of people who frequent these sites have a long history of dieting, losing, eating, gaining, and doing it all over again.
And then there were the “fat acceptance” blogs, which claim that women should be happy and love their bodies at whatever size they are, because diets just don’t work. Period. But many people on those sites don’t really love their bodies, either. And they’re always trying to convince us all to be happy with our bodies the way they are, as long as we’re healthy. And what does that mean, healthy? And what about all of my hard work to “get fit”? Was that worth nothing now, since I was supposed to be satisfied with myself just the way I was?
So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just going to start my own blog to talk about this kind of stuff. That’s enough of my blah-blah-blah for today.
How will I do this? I don’t know yet. This will definitely be an experiment in body positivation. (By the way, I like to make up words sometimes. Deal.) I guess what I will do is start by telling you a little about myself and then if there is anything that I say that resonates with you, by golly, bounce it off in the comments and we’ll discuss, ok?
So, I’m a girl, now in my twenties, and up until about a year ago I was just kind of ambivalent about my body. For the previous 12-15 years --since puberty, I guess-- I’d had pretty much the same body: I didn’t think it was that great of a body, but I didn’t dislike it and I’d always been confident, laid back, healthy, and happy, and I wasn’t usually bothered by my excess weight. I can’t pinpoint when I knew, but eventually I realized I was on a slow but steady path towards obesity, and I decided something needed to change.
I started by learning to eat healthier, which actually took a lot of time to get into because I had a lot of learning to do about what’s healthy and balanced and what’s not! I also started exercising. I decided that this would be the time that I actually “got fit.” I’d been telling myself ever since I was 13 that I was going to “get fit,” but I’d never really cared enough to define my goals and develop a plan, so I’d never gotten much further than a salad and a couple of jogs around the block.
This time I was serious. As I began eating better food and exercising more regularly, I decided on a “goal weight” and was determined that nothing but the healthiest, most realistic plan was going to be good enough for me. Everything I had ever truly accomplished for myself I had done though hard work, and this was to be no different.
And it wasn’t, really. I worked hard day after day, and eventually the changes I’d made began to have an impact. I lost a few pounds and my clothes got loose. Some of my tight old favorites fit again. I kept fine-tuning and balancing my diet and I kept exercising, and kept losing weight little by little. And then an amazing thing happened. Gradually, I started to pay more attention to my body and I–gradually, of course—came to the realization that I had a really rockin’ bod!
Things got complicated once I started getting closer and closer to my “goal weight.” I wasn’t sure if my original goal weight was really where I wanted to be. Perhaps that would be too thin for me, and I’d want to gain a few pounds back. Or maybe it wouldn’t be thin enough for my height and frame and I’d want to consider losing a few more pounds. I started looking online for how other people decided what their most ideal weight and shape was, and that’s when I found them: the positive body image sites and blogs. Great! I thought. Other people who love their bodies, too! The only thing I could figure from most of them, however, was that most women, no matter what they do, cannot achieve a body they love: there will always be something to dislike about themselves. Also, a lot of people who frequent these sites have a long history of dieting, losing, eating, gaining, and doing it all over again.
And then there were the “fat acceptance” blogs, which claim that women should be happy and love their bodies at whatever size they are, because diets just don’t work. Period. But many people on those sites don’t really love their bodies, either. And they’re always trying to convince us all to be happy with our bodies the way they are, as long as we’re healthy. And what does that mean, healthy? And what about all of my hard work to “get fit”? Was that worth nothing now, since I was supposed to be satisfied with myself just the way I was?
So I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just going to start my own blog to talk about this kind of stuff. That’s enough of my blah-blah-blah for today.
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